ISO Parent Program

Orientation is an important and exciting transition time for students and their families. Parents of international students often have unique questions and concerns as their children are beginning their education at Gordon College. So, as your child receives an orientation to their new life as a Gordon College student, we want to welcome you to your new role of being a Gordon College parent!

Tips for International Parents

SUPPORT FROM A DISTANCE

• "Support from a Distance" is all about facilitating emotional balance in your child so that they feel neither completely preoccupied with life back home nor completely disconnected from life back home.
   
• Once-a-week video calls with the whole family can help your international student feel connected to home, without being too distracted from embracing their new experiences at Gordon College. It might take a few weeks into the semester (after the honeymoon phase) for your child to agree that this would be a nice routine to establish together. Upperclassmen recommend this habit!
   
• Texting, especially texting pictures, can be helpful for more frequent check-ins and updates. It can be nice for your child to see a friendly and familiar face from home, without needing the focus required for a phone/video chat.  
   
• It's normal for a new international student to experience an up-and-down journey of emotions during their first year. This roller coaster of cultural adjustment has several identifiable phases. It is helpful to know this in advance!
  • Honeymoon Phase (highest high)
  • Culture Shock (lowest low)
  • Encouragement (high)
  • Discouragement (low)
  • Cross-Cultural Adjustment (balance)
  • ...Reverse Culture Shock (surprise)
     
• During the first few days or weeks, your child will probably experience a "Honeymoon Phase" in their cross-cultural adjustment. They will be noticing everything that is different and new about Gordon College campus culture, New England culture, and American culture. It is normal for them to be excited and happy at first, as they focus on the ways that this new culture is "better" than the life they have left behind in high school. During this time, it will be difficult for your child to explain all of their new experiences to you; they will make and change friendships quickly, as they find their place socially; almost everything about the college classroom experience will be new, and it might be hard for them to "keep you updated" because they will be feeling something like a sensory overload of newness.
   
• But then, "Culture Shock" will hit, and they will need your emotional support at this time, more than ever! They will begin to notice the things about Gordon College culture, New England culture, and American culture that are "worse" than the life that they left behind in high school. Their joy will flip to annoyance and frustration; the subtle differences will have piled up and reached an intolerable breaking point. They will crave the comfort of their family home, their old familiar community, and the food that they were always used to. They might start to feel sick, tired, or ill. Your student may be afraid to reach out to you at this time if they don't want to seem ungrateful for the opportunity to study in the U.S. But, it's important to remember that culture shock is a natural stage in all cross-cultural adjustment! At this point, it can be helpful for parents to set up a communication routine, such as a regularly scheduled video call with the whole family once a week. You may encourage your child by saying that this stage is normal and it will pass. You may also find that this is a great time to send a package in the mail! Perhaps, a food treat from home?  
   
• "Reverse Culture Shock" is the surprise that your child may experience when they return home to you, after the first semester or first year away. Your child will have changed! You and your home environment will have changed! And what seemed like it would be an easy "settling back into an old routine at home" will suddenly seem ill-fitting. Anticipate this happening. It can be helpful to ask your child about their experiences at Gordon and be curious to listen. It can be helpful to explain how you and your home life have changed as well; help them catch up on what's been going on with your local community, your church, and your family and friends at home.